Head in the Clouds of the Future.
I Unus Mundus, founding member of the Chaos Theory team, sit at my desk, before this machine. Next to me, like drones, are several people, tapping away on keyboards just like mine, just as corporate Homo Sapiens have done for the past few decades
But there is a little difference;
30 years ago, we would have been working at server terminals- Yeah. You remember servers, don’t you? Those old, creaky, humongous machines that made IBM a fortune?
20 years ago, we would have been working on personal computers – Remember those too? Those machines that took away the business from IBM and put it in Bill Gate’s pocket?
10 years ago, the cool guys would have had laptops – The ones that could be used as training weights or blunt instruments
Now a lot of folk are just tapping away at their smart phones and tablets; Half-phone, half super-computer and 100% mind control device of Steve Jobs.
We still seem far away from The Singularity (what my idiot friend and also founding member of The Chaos Theory Team, Higgs Boson, insists on calling the convergence of all technology). Yet, Higgs is more than willing to bet all our money (through Chaos Theory) and my reputation (since he has none) on this convergence.
In the conversation below, he claims the next step towards Singularity is the exodus to The Cloud. Read and learn (or pretend to learn), mere mortals, from The Chronomancer himself, Higgs Boson.
Location: The Vortex, Chaos Theory secret underground lair.
Time: Classified.
Date: Sometimes between just before this article was written and when you read it.
Participants*: Unus “Synchronicity” Mundus and Higgs “The Chronomancer” Boson
HIGGS: Hey Unus, what are you doing?
UNUS: I’m sitting at my desk, trying to sort out the mess you just made.
HIGGS: Oh yeah? Cool (A brief pause). Have you read the reviews of the Windows 8 official video?
UNUS: Yeah. Apparently, it is said to be influenced by the Apple IOS. So it will scale from touch screen devices to desktop.
HIGGS: Well, do you realise the significance of that?
UNUS: Err… they’re trying to reach out to mobile users while maintaining the old PC format?
HIGGS: That’s not the larger significance. It means Microsoft has surrendered. They have given up on desktop paradigm and local infrastructure. Windows 8 is just a midway point; they see where it’s going to end.
UNUS: Where is it going to end? Oh, let me guess, The Singularity?
HIGGS: Yes! Obviously! Tablets and mobile devices invariably mean cloud storage. The Clouds is just one more step towards The Singularity. 90% of your tech-savvy user’s services are already in the cloud (Higgs is always pulling such stats out of his nether realm but here are some real stats).
Of course, you know that Apple, Google and Amazon are struggling to be first to launch a cloud music service? (A few days after this convo, Apple launched the iCloud service and Mr. Chronomancer gloated for days). Microsoft is even taking a step ahead of Apple – they are supporting native apps that are made directly with web technologies; HTML5 CSS and JavaScript.
UNUS: Well, yeah. It makes sense sha. Sharing resources. It is more efficient.
HIGGS: Look, the browser is the new operating system. Google had already been running with this
even when people were talking about the stupidity of having Android and having Chrome. Android is great, it was an answer to Apple IOS, but even at that, it is not the future.
UNUS: Oh, it is not? I thought you were completely sold out on Google
HIGGS: Well, I hope they realise that the future is The Web. The Web is the Cloud. Apple will seriously be at a disadvantage when you have to learn a custom API and SDK to write their apps (He also throws about acronyms to make himself look smarter). Microsoft has finally gone the way of web tech. Google did it years ago.
UNUS: So you’re saying web developers will rule the world soon?
HIGGS: YES! And Nigeria doesn’t even know the power of The Web yet. But we will show them, we will declare its mighty works from the rooftops and from every street corner…for WE ARE CHAOS THEORY… muahahahahaha
At this point, he is so passionately focused on making his point, he literally goes hopping mad. But since I’m the awesome person that I am, I keep as cool as a cucumber; even when he sticks his face close to mine, shouting at the top of his voice and spraying me with saliva.
HIGGS: Remember that The Chronomancer declared these things in his realm where all time is one.
UNUS: Oh boy, here we go again. Have you taken your pills yet?
HIGGS: But yea mortals chose to doubt, you are chained by the bounds of time and your limited vision.
The Chronomancer is manifest!
He pauses to take his pills. The little red capsules.
UNUS: But isn’t the cloud a recipe for chaos? I’m not convinced that there’s adequate security on the cloud.
HIGGS: Sharrap! You still resist? You still hold on to your barbaric ways? The Nigerian Police hasn’t convinced us there is adequate security in Lagos. Do you stay locked up in your house?
UNUS: I’m only in Lagos because I don’t have a choice. If the world wasn’t restricted by boundaries maybe I’d be in Islamabad.
HIGGS: Hahahahaha. Islamabad. Hehehehe. Same thing applies to London or Limpopo (even though The Limpopo is actually a river, but don’t tell Higgs that).
UNUS: But security is fundamental to any kind of society. Would you willingly live in a warzone?
HIGGS: Dumb ass! The cloud is actually more secure than most local storage. You actually thing Google or Apple’s multi-billion servers and best security experts in the world are less secure than your tablet? What is wrong with you people? How many times have you had to wipe your computer because of a virus? What kind of security is that?
UNUS: Threats to security come in all sorts of guises. Imagine a terrorist attack for instance. Wouldn’t the cloud make us more susceptible to such an attack? And then there is the issue of Big Brother; how do I ensure my privacy?
HIGGS: That’s the same as village people thinking cameras will capture their souls…baseless paranoia!
And what is more likely, a terrorist attack on cloud infrastructure or your hard disk crashing? Besides, cloud is not a place. Info is dispersed over different servers in different parts of the world.
UNUS: But isn’t a group of people ultimately responsible for hosting the cloud even if it is indirectly?
HIGGS: The internet was built specifically to survive the nuclear Armageddon (another anally-manufactured factoid).It will reroute itself around points of damage. Internet technologies are like super-virus-cockroaches; they just won’t die. Forget terrorist attack. Only aliens can knock down the Internet. Of course people will lose data from time to time, but can this be compared to the amount they lose collectively due to missing flash drives, pouring water on their computers, porn viruses and EFCC confiscation? (At this point, I want to ask Higgs if he had ever had his computer confiscated by the EFCC but I decide, I just don’t want to know)
UNUS: Guy, sod off. I need to work.
Even though, Higgs is an idiot. I think he is right. The Future is in The Cloud. And yes, the Singularity is at hand. When all technologies will be redefined and all rules of the business game as we know it will break down and change completely. Whether this technology will lead to convergence or divergence is another question entirely. However, Chaos Theory is certain of one thing… all hell will break loose. And Chaos will rule supreme. We are rubbing our hands gleefully… muahahauahahahahahahah.
If you need a Theory to unravel the Chaos your brand faces every day, get in touch with us .
http://chaostheorycreative.com
Chaos Rules!
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent (or the stupid )
Lol. Hilarious article. good to know you guys have a sense of humour. Maybe that’s why you have such ridiculous names.. Unus “synchronicity’ Mundus and Higgs the chronomancer Boson.
made a lot of sense too. i’ve always wondered how secure the clouds will be
thanks for your support Cynthia. yes, i agree the names are ridiculous (another of Higgs stoopid inventions… he insists the Russian Mafia + the FBI are out to assassinate us for being too awesome.
unfortunately higgs is right on this one. the world is slowly headed towards a unified system, what i call “the hive” model or (the singularity according to higgs). it is the most efficient way of survival for the human race. unfortunately what makes it strong sadly becomes its greatest weak point: to destroy the hive you only need to destroy the queen and chaos rules. the hive when corrupted will cause a far more reaching damage than ever. the hive battle for the control of the hive would be the only war and like all things governed by man: towards its end would become corrupt, evil beyond comparison.
at first the joys and benefits of the singularity would be the singular driving force in the hearts of men, but once complete and in place, escape from the singularity would be their one and only desire.
A strict classed world in which the majority are ruled by a small elite class of men.
a world filled with armies of drones, humans with no knowledge of what they’re fighting for, no individual purpose, just service to the order of the hive.
north Korea and china are already closer to the singularity model than anyone else. the average Chinese man’s view of the world is limited and based entirely on what their government wants them to think. such is the nature of the higgs singularity model – unfortunately that is the inevitable future. Alas, a dark future indeed.
p.s – The matrix has you ^_^
Hi Tayo,
Cool down man, you’re making me wonder if the matrix movie i watched wasn’t a nightmare after-all.
You are right about the hive model though. Trends seem to suggest the congruence of all technology however, thought leaders on marketing like Al Ries insist that divergence (the contrary) is what is really happening. I personally think the truth is somewhat in the middle. Technology is diverging and specialising even more (even though, there are virtual DVD players, we haven’t been able to eliminate the traditional DVD player) however a hive model is developing which is seeking central control of this diversity. That is what the cloud might end up being. It might end up evolving to a central location to which everything technology is plugged… and might be controlled….
Man… i hope that made sense!
Chaos Rules!
Nice one! I love the banter. Smart and funny. I do have issues with our privacy in the future though everything is becoming so integrated very soon even using the toilet will be linked to technology somehow…..
One machine to rule them all. One cloud to host them all. Behold the words of The Chronomancer. Certain to fully come true at some point. Unfortunately when it does Nigeria will still be at least 4 years behind. Reason?
) But last mile connectivity is still lacking.
Bandwidth: The cloud means storing all your sh*t and apps from a centrally hosted ‘cloud’. This means massive transfer of data which needs to be done quickly but this bandwidth is simply not available (not to the end users at least). the capacity is there (SAT-3, Main One, Glo One, Sensei One
Skepticism: Most Nigerians would rather have their data physically where they can “see it” ; on their laptops and USB drives. Why trust your valuable data and documents to a multi-million dollar Oyinbo company? it’s safer on your laptop right? Wrong. Its not. While you might have an area boy beat you, stomp and pee on your face before relieving you of your precious laptop (and data), the cloud is still relatively secure and you can access it from multiple devices. More like burying you money in a pot in the garden because you don’t trust banks.
I don’t believe apple will be disadvantaged with their native/proprietary app dev. approach. As long as Jobs still has his droid of zombie fans, developers will continue to develop for apple platforms so far the market is there. Heck if Jobs came out with iCup tomorrow am sure a lot of people will stop drinking from normal cups case the iCup “just works”. Retards.
Am out
So you sermonize about online privacy then force us to drop our email to add a comment.
Nice article, though. You guys seem interesting considering that you are Nigerians. (no offence, I’m one too.)
To chip in my two kobo, I don’t think there will ever be a “singularity”. Simply because it’s against the workings of a free market. Microsoft didn’t get there. IBM didn’t. Nokia didnt. Apple wont. And neither will Google. Technolgy evolves. Corporations compete. That will never stop. Well, not until the China conquers the world anyway.
As for web privacy and security, your emails, Facebook data, various subsription information and online communications etc are already stored on online. I agree it’s something we’ll all have to ultimately accept. True, we might have to sacrifice some privacy but heck, we already do that at the doctor’s anyway…
Altogether, this is a nice blog. Bookmarked it.
Diji,
Singularity here doesn’t mean one company owning the singularity device/technology. That would be a disaster. We might as well sell our souls over to the anti-christ. Singularity is about a single devices/technology or computing paradigm that will ultimately replace laptops, tablets, mobile phones. an all encompassing tech that can do everything. there will still be competition but there will be one device that will be cloud powered.
It’s coming. question is, are you ready?
Chaos rules!
Chaos Theory though? One would think you both are anarchists.
Call it paranoia but I’m scared of the convergence, I just don’t trust technology that much and not every single thing should be digitized, I am in the process of becoming a CISSP cert holder so I know what I’m talking about when it comes to security.
That’s probably why there are no commercially produced flying cars yet even though flying cars exist. Because something is possible, that doesn’t make it necessary.
Technology is not, can never be 100% secure! Read your web hosting agreement today!
Hi Afrosays,
Anarchists? I don’t think so… however,defining our position is a lot more complex a task than can be done here. Hopefully, as this blog grows our philosophical position will be made clearer.
I am just as concerned about security on the web as you are; a cause of constant conflict with Higgs who seems to embrace total control by Big Brother, aka The Cloud.
As an aside, have you read Orwell’s 1984?